LOST Experience: DJ Dan 7/10 Podcast
On July 10th, a new link is added to the DJ Dan podcast page. The first thing that I found interesting on the DJ Dan page, although it’s probably nothing, is that there is not date for when the next podcast will be released.
The new “7/10″ link leads gamers to letyoucompassguideyou.com where DJ Dan’s latest podcast is found in the “Owells” folder.
Transcript:
ANNOUNCER: *music playing* Coming to you live from the bug planted in your head.
FEMALE VOICES: *singing* DJ Dan.
ANNOUNCER: *music playing* You’re listening to DJ Dan, shutting down The Man.
DJ DAN: Get your dialing fingers ready, Conspiraspies. It’s time for the first installment of our brand-new spanking series, Where’s Alvar! Now, if you’ve been following the work of our dream girl, whistle blowing whipper-snapper Rachel Blake, who may or may not be the hacker Persephone, who in true Conspiraspy fashion literally shut down the Hanso Foundation website, then you know she’s having a little bit of a problem. See, she’s hitting a lot of dead ends. Most of them circulating around the fact that she can’t seem to find the man with all the answers, the ring leader himself, Alvar Hanso. Tonya, where do you think Alvar Hanso is?
TONYA: Ah, standing right behind you?
DJ DAN: What? Woah! Right, almost gave me a heart attack, Tonya. See, I got of those actual size cutouts of Hanso standing right behind me, right back there in the corner. Printed it from that narvik (sp?) photo. TONYA knows I have a bad memory. Anyway, back to topic. I wanted to help Rachel find Hanso. So I thought to myself, ‘Self, you’ve got a worldwide network of eager Conspiraspies and most of them have 2 very curious eyes’. So I’ve decided to put those eyeballs to use. Conspiraspies, have you seen Alvar Hanso? Have you had a run in with the man himself? Then give us a call. First caller, Brad from Michiana.
CALLER (Brad): *corrects Dan’s pronunciation* Uh, Michiana.
DJ DAN: Yeah, yeah whatever. Where the hell is Michiana?
CALLER (Brad): Southwest Michigan, Northwest Indiana. We’re sparsely populated.
DJ DAN: Yeah, I see why. Bradley, where’s Alvar?
CALLER (Brad): Uh, well okay. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him at a Mr. Clucks. He was eating a family bucket. Like, all by himself.
DJ DAN: Breasts or legs and thighs?
CALLER (Brad): I think it was legs and thighs.
DJ DAN: SHUTDOWN! Billionaires do not eat legs and thighs! It’s a fact. Look it up. Andrew, from the San Fernando Valley. Like totally, Andrew. Where’s Alvar?
CALLER (Andrew): Dan, I was visiting a friend in the Santa Rosa Hospital for the Mentally Ill and I could have sworn I saw a guy who looked just like Hanso talking to the doctors.
DJ DAN: Intriguing. We know these guys are into the mentally ill. When was this, Andrew?
CALLER (Andrew): Like two months ago.
DJ DAN: Two months ago. SHUTDOWN! Useful information only, people. C’mon, c’mon! Lindsey from NYC, you’re on, baby.
CALLER (Lindsay): Hey, Dan. I was doing a photo shoot for a soccer stadium in L.A. and I swear Hanso was running a Tour de Stade.
DJ DAN: And what in the holy heck is a Tour de Stade?
CALLER (Lindsay): When you run up and down on the stairs in the stadium.
DJ DAN: SHUTDOWN! Recent estimates put Hanso at somewhere near 112 years old. I don’t care what kind of life extension drugs they’re pumping into the old boy. Hey, I couldn’t run a tour de stat when I was 20, okay?
TONYA: I think that may be more of an individual problem, DJ Dan.
DJ DAN: TONYA, don’t make me come into the producer’s booth.
TONYA: Ha, if we had a producer’s booth.
DJ DAN: Yeah, okay. Sorry about that. Steve from Florida, where’s Alvar?
CALLER (Steve): Hey, DJ Dan. You’re awesome.
DJ DAN: Well I know that. Where’s Alvar?
CALLER (Steve): Um, I know for a fact he was taking application for an Army Recruiting office in Tallahassee.
DJ DAN: SHUTDOWN! Everybody knows there ain’t nothing but strip clubs and waffle joints in Tallahassee. And Hanso doesn’t strike me as a desperate man. Tony from San Fran, where’s Alvar?
TONYA: I’m pretty sure I saw him in a hot air balloon.
DJ DAN: Okay, okay. That’s a billionaire sport. Tell me, Tony, where were you at the time?
TONYA: In a hot air balloon.
DJ DAN: SHUTDOWN! Speaking of hot air. Okay, Lightning Round. Just name the location. Matt from Raleigh.
CALLER (Matt): Okay, Niagara Falls.
DJ DAN: American or Canada side?
CALLER (Matt): Uh, Canadian?
DJ DAN: SHUTDOWN! Tim from Des Moines, where’s Alvar?
TONYA: Ah, I’m pretty sure I saw him at a diner last night. Twenty miles from here?
DJ DAN: Populated or unpopulated road?
TONYA: Unpopulated.
DJ DAN: TONYA, take down the info. Don from Athens, Georgia or Greece?
CALLER (Don): Greece by way of Georgia.
DJ DAN: Okay, now I’m really confused. Where’s Alvar?
CALLER (Don): Ah, well I heard from a friend he went to a faith healer in Ayre’s Rock, Australia.
DJ DAN: Aaah, on the fence with that. Don’t know. Gonna have to go with SHUTDOWN! Hanso is the Man and the Man ain’t vibing with faith healers. Okay, last call before the break. Nikolai from Philly, where’s Alvar?
CALLER (Nikolai): Hi, DJ Dan. I’m frequent traveler and more than once, in VIP lounge at Oceanic Air, I’ve seen all European gentlemen absolutely fitting Hanso’s description. Always with drink in hand.
DJ DAN: This alleged drink of yours, what was it?
CALLER (Nikolai): Looked like he drinks Manhattan.
DJ DAN: SHUTDOWN! Now, if you had said mineral water, I would’ve bit. Well, folks, today was most likely fruitless, but keep those peepers peeled. And tune in 2 weeks from now for another edition of Where’s WOAH! Tonya, help me get rid of this cardboard cutout. Now, c’mon, c’mon. Get it out of here. It’s freaking me out.
ANNOUNCER: *music playing* You’re listening to DJ Dan… *sound effect* Shutting down the man
An interesting thing worth noting is that all the places mentioned by the callers are all places which characters from the show have been.
Mr Clucks - Hurley
Mental hospital in Sana Rosa - Hurley and Libby
Running up and down a stadium - Jack and Desmond
Niagra Falls - Rose and Bernard
Army recruiting in Tallahasse - Kate
Hit air balloon - Henry Gale
Diner - Kate and Sawyer
Faith healer at Ayres Rock - Rose and Bernard
Another useless bit of trivia is DJ Dan’s line; “Talahassee? there’s nothing but strip clubs and waffle houses in Talahassee.” was also said by Masrshall Edward Mars.
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On an off topic (?) note about Talahassee, I heard there is a large source of natural electromagnetism in that area…